Coleen’s detective skills have been noted by Donald Trump as he is desperate to find the whistleblower who leaked information about his call with the President of the Ukraine Volodymyr Zelensky.
A furious Sajid Javid confronted Boris Johnson on Friday and demanded an explanation as to why his media adviser Sonia Khan was sacked without his knowledge, amid claims that a deep “culture of fear” has taken hold within the government. With a grin Boris Johnson told Sajid Javid if he didn’t like it to take it up with his strategist Dominic Cummings. According to sources Javid is said to have gulped and muttered under his breath “the Great Bus Deceiver? I dare not” before slowly backing away.
Leaked documents found in captain Joe Root’s helmet reveal that Boris Johnson had encouraged the England team to “valiantly defend their wicket in the manner of the Romans at the battle of Cannae”. We asked a Classics Professor what the heck Johnson was waffling on about and he said “basically the Romans got the shit kicked out of them at Cannae”.
It has been revealed that this collapse was under the express orders of Prime Minister Boris Johnson so that the United Kingdom can secure a more favourable trade deal with Australia after Brexit.