As preparations for a general election are stepped up, the Labour Party has moved to position itself as the party of division.
A disappointed Nigel Farage was left to book an Uber for one, back to ‘under the rock’ after even Boris…
The UK government said it will make an appeal to the Supreme Court in London after a Scotland’s highest civil court ruled its suspension of parliament was unlawful. Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, said he was ‘outraged’ at the court’s decision and promised to take the issue to the European courts if necessary.
The naturalist took to the stage on behalf of BBC’s The Blue Planet which won the award for Best Factual Programme, to murmurings of ‘Hasn’t Max Headroom let himself go?’ But once he began speaking and the assembled celebs felt their skin crawl and their ears bleed, they twigged who he was and began to boo loudly.
‘They’ve had enough time now and they need to stop fannying about and just get on with fixing the problem. People are relying on them to find a solution, and they need to do it pretty damn quick. I mean, what would it be like if the government conducted their business like this? Chaos. That’s what. The pound would fall, business would struggle, we’d have shortages of food and medicine, and the prime minister would look like a complete moron. We’d be an absolute laughing stock.’
After photos yesterday revealed images of a smiling Theresa May, a phenomenon rarer that Haley’s Comet, and Boris Johnson faced his first PMQs looking shaky as a PM and not answering any Qs – a bit like Theresa May but with floppier hair and an air of arrogance – MPs will meet in Westminster later today to debate whether anyone knows what the hell is going on anymore.