Cabinet Minister and arch-Eurosceptic Jacob Rees-Mogg, who allegedly has made a personal fortune of over £7m from the damage Brexit has done to the value of the pound, has urged fellow Brexiteers to ‘trust’ Boris Johnson.
“It’s an absolute scandal,” spat out the putatively dreadful Whittingdale during an interview with a cub reporter from the UK comic, ‘The Beano,’ “Just because they voted against the government should not mean they are denied the simple pleasures in life. By this I mean a damned good thrashing for anyone who’s been a very naughty boy!”
Putting a positive spin on this latest Tory transport disaster, the new Minister responsible for lying about transport cock-ups, Grant Shapps, crowed, “This is excellent news. It gives the turkey twizzler munching proles plenty of time to put a little money aside every week so that, when and if the line is ever completed, they can club together and buy a ticket.”