The former EDL Leader was hit by milkshakes twice in two days while on the campaign trail in the north of England. “They were halcyon days, they were” said Farmers’ spokesperson, Roy Buttercup.
Water has been discovered in the atmosphere of an enormous Earth-like planet already known to have habitable temperatures, which scientists say means it could support life. Supporting this theory is the discovery of a half-submerged, big-shop shopping trolley with its front wheels embedded in silt and its handle exposed to the elements.
Education Minister Anne Milton has announced her resignation. Sir Alan Duncan quit as a Foreign Office minister on Monday. And potentially dozens more government ministers are ready to sacrifice their allowances and expenses to migrate across the political divide, acting contradictorily upon their beliefs.
Sir Graham Brady, Chair of the 1922 committee, summed up the sacrifice: “Never before in the history of British politics has an ejected Prime Minister shown such unswerving loyalty to their party by committing the ultimate selfless act in joining the opposition “Forget Brexit. This is Theresa’s legacy.”
“Whereas last year’s work was a static artwork on display temporarily, this year’s submission will be a fluid artistic process culminating in the permanent installation of a Member of Parliament; the physical embodiment of a one-word repetitive political philosophy: Brexit. I could have called the piece Rhubarb, but that’s been done.”