Shops are reporting selling out of antibacterial gel as soon as any stock is placed on the shelves. Covid-19, the world’s premier coronavirus, has now been revealed as a huge marketing scam carried out by firms trying to up sales of said gel.
Singer-songwriter James Newman will represent the United Kingdom at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. However, the coronavirus, Covid-19, is expected to be the real winner at this year’s Eurovision, after it was revealed to be representing every single country at the outlandish singing competition.
Banks have explained to the financial regulator who queried quite why most have implemented a blanket 39.9% overdraft rate that it’s entirely necessary because they are greedy, robbing bastards who really don’t give a fuck about anyone else in their quest to generate shitloads more money for doing literally no extra work.