Johnson and Farage form uneasy alliance after being told to do so by Trump, who was told to do so by Putin

Vladimir Putin offered peerage for relentless and continuing assistance with Brexit

November 17, 2019

Boris Johnson is facing a police inquiry into allegations of electoral fraud following claims that the Tories offered senior Brexit Party figures, such as Nigel Farage, peerages in a bid to persuade them not to run in the general election. However, 70’s Bond villain and president of the new USSR, Vladimir Putin, has allegedly been offered a peerage to continue his sterling work helping with Brexit.

London’s failed ‘Garden Bridge’ project cost £53. Chris Grayling insists it is safe to use despite bridge not actually existing

Chris Grayling offered peerage to just stop fucking things up

November 17, 2019

Nigel Farage has suggested he was offered a peerage simply for stepping his Brexit Party back at the upcoming election. The news was swiftly followed by reports that Norman Wisdom of politics, Chris Grayling, has also been offered a peerage by the Conservative party if he just ‘stops attempting to do anything at all’.

ERG keen to introduce same-sex Cabinet

ERG keen to introduce same-sex Cabinet

October 11, 2019

Dancing On Ice will beat rival show Strictly Come Dancing to featuring a same-sex couple on the show. Not to be outdone, the Conservative Party’s European Research Group has plans to introduce an entirely same-sex Cabinet.

Dominic Cummings favourite to win Nobel Peace Prize

Dominic Cummings favourite to win Nobel Peace Prize

October 10, 2019

Though Cummings has not yet killed anyone – a historic requirement of winning the prize – his tenacity in ensuring millions of poor people suffer long into the future is seen as just as impressive, if not better, to the Nobel panel.