“It was a bit all over the place to be honest. You’re not in harmony at all – I’m not even sure you’re all singing the same song. “I normally tell people to try again in a year or two but I actually think you should definitely give up on your dreams.”
The President said he would meet Kim Jong-un in Vietnam from 27-28 February. “I’ve always wanted to go to Vietnam,” said Trump. “I just wish I’d been allowed to fight in the war there – we’d have won then. No question. “Damn this nasty bone in my foot that kept me safe and alive while others died for their country. If I’d been there I could have saved them. I’d have saved them all.”
The Met Office said there was a “slight chance” that some rural communities could be cut off. Many British rural communities were apparently cut off years ago – from concepts such as tolerance and diversity. There are actually some parts of Wales where they believe that multiculturalism is when someone reads the Daily Mail with the telly on in the background.
Vegetarian customers at McDonald’s across the UK have reported finding chicken nuggets in meals that are sold as meat-free. Kitchen staff insisted they only put “very small” pieces of chicken in the wrap to “make it tasty.” It was also pointed out that customers weren’t charged for the meat and the additional ingredient was only added to give value to loyal customers.
Auctioneers said that while they had “no artistic value”, the pictures could sell for thousands of euros. Yes, there is apparently a lucrative market for terrible artwork produced by evil mass-murdering maniacs. Also for sale is a papier-mâché giraffe made by Pol Pot and a collage by Idi Amin comprised of uncooked pasta glued to some blue card.
There are still many who think the wintry conditions are a wonderful excuse for a day of fun and relaxation. “It all looked a bit dicey outside so I just stayed in bed for a bit before going into the garden and building a crap snowman. Work’s just not important in the grand scheme of things,” said Prime Minister Theresa May. “That Brexit deal can wait!”