Millennials reliant on contents of parents’ bins to avoid starvation

Millennials reliant on contents of parents’ bins to avoid starvation

May 9, 2019

Millennials are not only waiting on a lucrative inheritance to get on the property ladder but they also have to rummage through mum and dad’s kitchen bin in order to find food. “Bin juice smells bad but surely it’s all just broken down fruit and vegetables and must therefore be quite nutritious,” one millennial told us in between severe bouts of vomiting and diarrhoea. “And it’s free!

Trump to meet Kim Jong Un in Vietnam. If his bone spur doesn't excuse him from Duty again

Trump to meet Kim Jong Un in Vietnam. If his bone spur doesn’t excuse him from Duty again.

February 6, 2019

The President said he would meet Kim Jong-un in Vietnam from 27-28 February. “I’ve always wanted to go to Vietnam,” said Trump. “I just wish I’d been allowed to fight in the war there – we’d have won then. No question. “Damn this nasty bone in my foot that kept me safe and alive while others died for their country. If I’d been there I could have saved them. I’d have saved them all.”

Snow disrupts freedom of movement. Brexiteers delighted.

January 29, 2019

The Met Office said there was a “slight chance” that some rural communities could be cut off. Many British rural communities were apparently cut off years ago – from concepts such as tolerance and diversity. There are actually some parts of Wales where they believe that multiculturalism is when someone reads the Daily Mail with the telly on in the background.