Boris was speaking at an insurance brokers conference Insurance premiums in all spheres of life immediately rocketed as a calamity-prone Boris as PM would pose a significant risk to life and property.
A bill implementing the Brexit deal will be introduced in the first week of June, the government has confirmed. Downing Street said this was imperative if MPs were to have the opportunity of roundly rejecting Theresa May’s Brexit deal a fourth time before going off on their incredibly long summer holidays.
Tusk said, “Today the chance that Brexit will not happen is, in my opinion, 20-30%. That’s a lot.” Indeed, it’s about ten times more likely than a cold, hard fact coming out of Nigel Farage’s mouth – statisticians estimate the likelihood of that to be around 3% based on the ‘stopped clock’ paradigm.
Millennials are not only waiting on a lucrative inheritance to get on the property ladder but they also have to rummage through mum and dad’s kitchen bin in order to find food. “Bin juice smells bad but surely it’s all just broken down fruit and vegetables and must therefore be quite nutritious,” one millennial told us in between severe bouts of vomiting and diarrhoea. “And it’s free!
The President said he would meet Kim Jong-un in Vietnam from 27-28 February. “I’ve always wanted to go to Vietnam,” said Trump. “I just wish I’d been allowed to fight in the war there – we’d have won then. No question. “Damn this nasty bone in my foot that kept me safe and alive while others died for their country. If I’d been there I could have saved them. I’d have saved them all.”
The Met Office said there was a “slight chance” that some rural communities could be cut off. Many British rural communities were apparently cut off years ago – from concepts such as tolerance and diversity. There are actually some parts of Wales where they believe that multiculturalism is when someone reads the Daily Mail with the telly on in the background.