Ivan Milat, a notorious Australian serial killer who kidnapped and murdered hitchhikers, has died aged 74.
He is expected to be brought back to life by a group of teenagers later this week.
“It’s a great honour,” says Sydney History major Mitchell van Dross, who has been studying a book made of human skin in preparation for the event.
Milat died in prison, where he was serving a life sentence for seven murders. His crimes were the inspiration for the ‘Wolf Creek’ franchise.
Milat was previously spending his afterlife haunting a stretch of road in rural New South Wales. He had met with Valak, a demonic nun, to discuss details.
“He took being a spectre very seriously,” says Valak, so is standing behind you right now, “He wanted to know how much wailing was too much, how much blood should pour from your eyes- technical stuff.”
Police said Milat’s lifelong refusal to admit his crimes had hampered further investigations into the killings and other unsolved cases.
But police are hoping to interview him again after a group of horny, culturally diverse teens break into the cemetery to drink beer and make out.
“Vengeful undead are normally much more open about their crimes,” says Police Chief Wilson Ascot, “And I hope he’ll be a bit more forthcoming after glimpsing the Infernal hellscape that awaits his soul on the other side.”
“We’ve all got a part to play in keeping our community safe,” adds Police Chief Ascot, “I, for example, will skeptically approach the house in the third act, providing Milat’s victims with a sense of victory, before being slaughtered by the monster.”
Milat was arrested after targeting a British tourist, who escaped and alerted the police.
Similarly, he is expected to leave one final victim alive, partly as symbolic of his inability to escape his past, but also so the franchise can continue.
Michael Myers, star of the ‘Halloween’ franchise refused to comment due to a character defining commitment to silence.