Astronomers hail discovery of “Another Planet” – as Prince claims BBC Interview a “Great Success”

The Royals
World Astronomers Hail Discovery of ‘Another Planet’ as Prince Andrew Claims BBC Interview a Great Success

Prince Andrew has reportedly described the BBC interview in which he answered questions on his relationship with convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein as a ‘great success,’ despite it being widely described as a ‘car crash.’

Showing virtually zero self awareness, Prince Andrew made the comment to a press pack from his royal bathroom whilst being given his all over morning ‘lick clean’ by his servants and Michael Gove.

“Of course it was a great success,” boasted His Royal Lieness, “I thought my hair looked really great, my shoes were shined to perfection, and I wasn’t even sweating. Also, I could see that the Maitlis woman had the ‘hots’ for me. Shame she’s a little on the old side for my tastes.”

When the ‘Prince of Pizzalibis’ was pressed by the cub reporter from UK comic The Beano for an explanation as to why he showed neither sympathy for the girls abused by Epstein and for showing no remorse for his close relationship with a convicted paedophile, Prince Andrew snapped, “I’m the victim here!”

The Prince then went on to answer specific charges as follows:

  • That he showed no sympathy to the abused girls – “They get paid, don’t they?”
  • That he showed no remorse for being ‘besties’ with the sex trafficking paedophile Epstein – “I have no regrets. I learned a lot from him”
  • That his behaviour since becoming an adult has been, and continues to be abominable, and that he is a parasitic waste of skin that should do the ‘honourable’ thing and donate all his internal organs to people more worthy of them – “Where’s Emily?”

A spokesperson for world astronomers commented, “What the fuck planet is this cunt on?”

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