Donald ‘the problem solver’ Trump ordered in fast food for an event at the White House, after the partial government shutdown left him without any catering staff.
Trump boasted that the food was ‘American food, just great, so great, the greatest food’ and that the event was a bigger success than Jesus’s feeding of the 5,000.
‘What’s better? Burgers or fish? Have you ever seen anyone ever actually eat a Fillet o’ Fish in McDonald’s?’ Trumps muttered with a mouthful of half-chewed burger.
He welcomed the winners of the national college football championship, the Clemson Tigers, with more than 300 burgers as well as fries and pizzas.
Trump shared images with his followers, making note that he had millions more than Jesus ever had and that the son of God’s social media presence was ‘sad, like really sad’.
He forced his guests to listen to a right-wing sermon before allowing them to eat, and was critical highly of the messiah for being crucified when he could’ve just let his lawyer take the punishment.
Around 800,000 public sector workers, including White House staff have been on mandatory leave or working without pay for 24 days due the the government shutdown
Hopes and prayers for those affected. In the name of the father, and the son, and the daughter, and the son-in-law.