“Another election? Oh f*** off!” says Brenda from Bristol

UK Politics
Another election? Oh f*** off! says Brenda from Bristol

Brenda from Bristol has once again expressed her displeasure after hearing the news that there is to be another general election.

Boris Johnson’s bill for a 12 December election was approved by 438 votes to 20 on Tuesday, and will now go to House of Lords for consideration – where it is unlikely to be opposed.

Brenda, who shot to fame in 2017 after a reporter informed her on camera that Theresa May had called a snap election and she responded with incredulity, was left speechless at the announcement yesterday. Well, almost.

“Oh F*ck off; really? Another one? Oh for f*ck’s sake!” she was heard to say.

“I remember the good old days when an election would occur every four or five years. Not every four or five minutes as seems to be the case with this load of blue-rosette wearing, silver-spoon up their arses, landed gentry wankers.”

She continued: “I don’t get it – they keep repeatedly telling us to go and vote to declare our support for a party every half an hour, like. But the Brexit thing was just a one-off, apparently. The whole bloody farce makes about as much sense as Chris Grayling and Diane Abbott trying to split a bill in a restaurant, if you ask me, innit like.”

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn said the snap poll was a “once-in-a-generation” opportunity to transform the country.

“Haha, is it bollocks!” replied Brenda. “There’ll be another one about four days after that one, I bet.

“Who will I be voting for? None of ’em – if you ask me they’re all a bunch of wrong ‘uns.”

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