With panic buying sweeping the nation amidst the Coronavirus pandemic, items including soap, pasta and toilet roll are particularly in demand.
Andrex have been struggling to keep up with the demand, and it is understood that they are forcing the Golden retriever puppies to work overtime to maintain their target. They are only allowed one toilet break every 3 hours which quite frankly isn’t ideal for potty training. This has caused an increase of accidents in the workplace; Mr Andrex said, “it’s like a waterslide in there, lucky for us we are making a product that can clean up all the doggie puddles.”
The only other break the puppies get is ‘cuddle time’ – an often impromptu occasion where workers distract the muts from their job of providing the nation with toilet roll.
Supermarket shelves across the country have been left bare and many stores have run out of toilet paper completely.
These images of empty shelves are shown to the puppies before and during every shift in order to show them what they are up against and to make them work even harder. The only other form of encouragement are calls of, “who’s a good boy?”
Sources say that they have no choice but to work a few hours overtime each day, with each puppy having to produce 400 rolls a shift before they can go for ‘walkies’.
People are being asked to not panic buy and only buy what they need.
But Andrex aren’t letting the puppies off easy yet. A video emerged of one dog being forced to roll back up a whole roll after being a naughty boy and unrolling it during playtime. The video has been deemed too inhumane to show the public.
It has also been discovered that the canines aren’t fed a hot meal and are made to sleep on the floor without a pillow or even a duvet. One pup named Dexter was so exhausted he fell asleep on toilet tissue that he had crafted with his own bare paws.
Now it seems that Man’s best friend is no longer the dog but the double quilted and rose scented roll instead.
Now please everyone, if you won’t stop panic buying for other people, at least do it for the puppies.