Amber Rudd quits government over Johnson’s Brexit stance
Work and Pensions secretary Amber Rudd quit the government yesterday, allegedly because she disagreed with Boris Johnson over Brexit.
This seems a little perplexing after a Tory spokesperson confirmed that “all ministers who joined the Cabinet signed up to leaving the EU on 31 October come what may”.
We’re not sure what ‘come what may’ actually means, but right now if they were to elect a dolphin as foreign secretary it would barely make the news.
However, if she did sign up for the ‘do or die’ pact, this begs the question; why did she really leave?
Late last night the truth emerged when she was seen storming out of the BBC clasping a half empty bottle of Prosecco, mascara running down her tearful face.
Apparently she had put in a bid to replace Jamie Laing on Strictly Come Dancing.
Strictly Come Dancing confirms Kelvin Fletcher as Jamie Laing’s replacement
But alas, she was beaten to it by Kelvin Fletcher.
The Emmerdale star was seen as more suitable for the show on account of the fact he is male (a key requirement for the post of male dancer) and in all likelihood voted remain.
Labour said Ms Rudd’s resignation showed the government was “falling apart”.
The Labour Party were rubbing their hands with glee, comforted by the news that the Tories are just as fucked as they are.
Especially with announcement that John Mann is quitting because Jeremy Corybyn allegedly allowing the party to be “hijacked” by antisemites.
At least on strictly they only lose one person per week…
What is certain is that Strictly is clearly a safer bet than either party but the way things are going we’re far more likely to see the winning dancer crowned before Brexit is sorted out.