Since 2016, the urge for Britain to go back to a simpler time has gained more and more [Note for the editor: insert synonym for momentum here but don’t say momentum because I hate Corbyn so hard]. [Note from the editor: Nah] momentum.
When Friends was on our screens Brexit wasn’t a thing and we didn’t have to think about things like Climate Change or gender equality or how 5 people with seemingly menial income could manage to live in New York City and have enough disposable income to own an actual monkey.
To cash in to our desire to live in the past, Aldi are releasing a line of Friends themed products to help make it feel more like the nineties. Back when men were men, nipples proudly pointed out of shirts and doing a racist accent was hilarious.
If you’re feeling down about the world and all these new things we have to learn, why not nab yourself a white t-shirt with the words ‘I’d rather be watching Friends’ on it? Brought to you by the people who make Female Body Inspector shirts because, if you don’t have a t-shirt to make your jokes, how will people know you’re funny?
The world may have changed but you don’t have to. While away the Politically Correct hours with the Friends Top Trumps cards to see which Friend is better at laughing at the idea of a man being a nanny, which Friend gets 10 out of 10 in the psychotic-control-of-women-when-Rachel-gets-a-new-job-and-focusses-a-bit-too-much-on-her-career and which Friend used to be fat which is only funny because she isn’t now.
Remember when Ross tries to kiss his first cousin? And then no one mentioned it. Ever. Well now you can too, but you can do it wearing Friends pyjamas. And if that doesn’t tickle your incestuous pickle, grab yourself a cushion covered in famous quotes like: ‘we were on a break’ and ‘you are my lobster’ and ‘let’s all be consistently homophobic and act like it’s fine.’
If you’re looking for where to buy the products, the supermarket have advised there are stores IN LONDON.
But only London.
Buy now! Or don’t. In fact – ideally don’t…