Yes, it’s the big story everyone’s talking about. José ‘The Special One’ Mourinho has left.
Directors of one of the most popular pantomimes in the world: Manchester United, have announced their star performer, José Mourinho has left mid-season after a run of two and a half years.
Manchester United have released a statement to “thank Jose for his work” and “wish him success in the future.”
“Don’t, you’ll set me off again.” sobbed a tearful José in a farewell press conference. “I’ve had some incredible times performing ‘Manager’ at the Theatre Of Dreams, But it’s now time to move on.”
Critics point out that José began his tenure in the pantomime as a happy-go-lucky Portuguese hero but transformed the character into a grumpy melancholic half-manc villain, affecting the performances of other actors and reducing the success of the show, that’s why his contract was terminated.
“I’m The Special One. It was my choice to accept the directors’ suggestion to move on.” José corrected. “Word must have got around I was leaving, because in my final performance with the players in Liverpool on Sunday, the audience were simply divine, chanting my name and singing ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’, I was so touched.”
The question everybody’s asking: what’s next for Mourinho?
After two stints playing Manager at Chelsea in the West End and a less than successful run pacing the wings – yet stealing centre stage with Manchester United, will José return to perform in the UK again?
Audiences say: “Oh no, he won’t!”