Over the weekend Nigel Farage claimed that his new Brexit party had already signed up 100,000 members in just one week. That’s despite little information about the party being released.
They haven’t even necessarily settled on a name. So we thought we’d give Nige’ a hand – and have come up with a few options for him to choose from.
1) EWIP (England and Wales Independence Party)
When Brexit is finally implemented, screws Ireland with some of kind of Donald Trump style border wall, forgets Scotland exists, the UK will inevitably find its nation count halved. Nigel might as well skip a few steps and get straight to the point.
2) UKIP 2unlimited
Keeping things familiar to his disciples and the media, while also giving an old classic a fresh twist could prove to be a masterstroke, all awhile acting as a reminder to Nigel of those care free nights in the city back in the early 90s. Plus the opportunity to use the slogan “No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no there’s no foreigners” also has the added benefit of saving a few million quid in ad agency fees.
3) The Farage Defence League
Nigel often says daft things, most Brexit arguments for example. Luckily Nigel has 100,000 people willing to stick up for him on twitter and on message boards, regardless of how idiotic or offensive his comments might be.
4) The Yellow Vest Fetish Party
Some people like whips, some like role play, and some just want to hang out with other white men all day shouting football chants, harassing women and wearing a yellow vest. Each to their own.
5) Get out of my pub
Nigel just wants to sit down in a classic boozer, have a pint of ale and a cigarette. And he can’t anymore because of the smoking ban and the fact that the pubs are full, because after all, Britain is full.
6) Keep calm and Carry on Nigel/ or Carry on Brexit
If you hadn’t noticed, Nigel is a modern day Carry On film series walking cliché. But none of the harmless fun stuff, just the smutty and 50 years out of date “oh god is this what is used to be like in the 60s?” stuff.
7) Farage’s Brexit Banter Boys Club
It’s all just a bloody great laugh isn’t it? Boozy lunches, making up anything you feel like about the EU, suspiciously hanging out in the Ecuadorian embassy all day. #BrexitBantz
8) Nigel’s Royal fish and chips, Red telephone box we’re bloody British party
Nigel’s British, Britain’s British, everything should be British. Never forget that, Nigel won’t let you. Just keep doing British things and don’t let other cultures take over, or before you know it we’ll all be speaking Polish, or worse, German just like Nigel’s children. Stop the infiltration on our streets and remember your roots.