Boris Johnson has insisted that the £138m of public money to tell people how great Brexit is going to be will be money well spent.
This was reinforced by a Downing Street source today, who told us that the information to be distributed will be ‘the highest quality bullshit that money can buy’.
“The public should be absolutely reassured that the lies we intend to spend this money on will be much, much more believable than that old crap about cash for the NHS on the side of a bus a couple of years back,” continued our mole.
“We had to be so much more careful then about being seen to play to the rules, as we didn’t think that we would get away with it so easily if they found out that we’d cheated.”
“Now we’ve got shitloads of cash, all of it in fact. We’ve checked around for homeless people and starving kids and all of that stuff, and there doesn’t seem to be any, so we will spend it on convincing the public that we are right, far right, about everything.”
It is thought that Mr Johnson himself has asked for copies of leaflets produced by the Wehrmacht Propaganda Troops in 1942, to use as templates.
These were then dropped by the Luftwaffe onto both German soldiers and civilians in 1942, to convince them that the war was ‘definitely going to turn out just fine’.
Allegedly described as ‘just the ticket’ by the PM, some draft leaflets have already been secretly produced, with Mr Johnson apparently commenting that ‘if they were good enough for Hitler, they’re good enough for me’.