£100k offered for Port Talbot garage with a Banksy on. Once the graffiti’s removed, it should make a nice garage.

Art and Culture, Popular Right Now

The owner of a Port Talbot garage with a Banksy painting on has received offers from private collectors hoping to buy it for around £100,000.

One hopeful said she’d have offered more if the garage hadn’t been ‘hideously defaced’ by Banksy.

She’s one of many angry voices from the worldwide community of collectors of late-20th century garages in Welsh seaside towns.

‘I’ve had my eye on this beauty for a while, and now that wanker’s gone and desecrated it. Why can’t he do his shitty drawings on canvas instead of spoiling something that should have been preserved for future generations?’ said the millionaire tech-investor from California, who owns an enviable thirty-two assorted garages, lockups and carports in the Swansea area.

When reminded that…

Banksy’s gender is not public knowledge

…the collector said we were missing the point, and that she hoped we would ‘never know the joy of covered parking and convenient tool storage ever again’. This is a common insult in the garage appreciation community that is roughly equivalent to ‘piss off’.  

Last year, Banksy’s canvas artwork ‘Girl with a Balloon’ partially destroyed itself at the moment of sale, falling into a shredder that the artist had concealed within the frame.

It is rumoured that Banksy may be planning a similar stunt with the Port Talbot garage, perhaps by tunnelling underneath it or calling in a long-standing debt from celebrity pal Mother Nature to send it plummeting into the bowels of the earth before it can be purchased.

If this happens, it is expected that all members of the Welsh Garage Collectors’ Foundation will gather at their cultural stronghold – a 1970s double with original electric opening system in Llandudno – for a candle-lit vigil.

Alexander MJ Smith

Written By: Alexander MJ Smith

Alexander is an emerging writer of funny things for screen, stage and speaker system. His credits include BBC Radio 4 Extra’s Newsjack and the word ‘include’ to make it sound like there are lots more. He also sometimes writes things that aren’t funny (on purpose) and sometimes these get published.
Read All Posts By Alexander MJ Smith