After learning that Cheryl snogged another member of Girls Aloud, thousands of teenage boys have disappeared, last seen heading for the toilet.
The two best friends revealed that they kissed after Kimberley made a pass at Cheryl. The former X-Factor judge is keen to encourage sexual liberation and claimed “If I want to go out and kiss a girl I will, that’s my business.”
She said sparking a widespread manhunt for teenage boys.
Concerned parents have claimed that their son’s were last seen reading the newspaper before making a funny sort of sound and claiming they’d be back in a moment.
One parent told us “That’s the last we’ve seen of him. The toilet door has been locked for 24 hours. We keep knocking and asking if he’s alright, we are getting worried.”
Those that have returned seem lethargic and moody. It’s a very worrying phenomenon.
The 23 year old star, who only fortunately remembered this revelation just in time to coincide with the release of her raunchy new video for Let You. stated that “We are women, we are human, we have our needs and wants.
I urge any missing teenage boys to call home and explain that they ok and will be out the bathroom in a moment. Before adding “Please wash your hands first though.”