Mohammed Morsi dies in six-year courtroom assassination

Mohammed Morsi dies in six-year-long courtroom assassination

June 20, 2019

“Clearly it’s too early to speculate but we have already ruled out six years of neglect, torture and the withdrawal of essential medical attention as factors that may have contributed towards his death.”

Scots hunting for new national pastime after drop in alcohol sales

Scots hunting for new national pastime after drop in alcohol sales

June 20, 2019

Sales of alcohol in Scotland last year dropped to the lowest level since recording began in 1994. This is thought to be in part due to the introduction of minimum pricing in May 2018. This has led to a desperate scramble in Holyrood to find a new national pastime.

Rory Stewart's Tie Joins The Lib Dems

Rory Stewart’s Tie Joins The Lib Dems

June 19, 2019

Rory Stewart baffled viewers during the BBC Tory leadership debate by taking off his tie minutes into the show with the four other remaining candidates The tie was then seen leaving the studio, in disgust and has now joined the Liberal Democrats The Secretary of State for International Development started the show wearing his tie but moments later he was observed with an open collar "Personally, I see it as more I left him", stated the Tie in a candid...

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Mohammed Morsi dies in six-year courtroom assassination

Mohammed Morsi dies in six-year-long courtroom assassination

June 20, 2019

“Clearly it’s too early to speculate but we have already ruled out six years of neglect, torture and the withdrawal of essential medical attention as factors that may have contributed towards his death.”

Argentina deliberately organises blackout in bid to boost population

Argentina deliberately organises blackout in bid to boost population

June 18, 2019

“This was an official government blackout in an attempt to encourage Argentinians to get down to it. Population density is of 15 persons per square kilometre of land area, well below the world average of 50 persons and we have to do something about that.”

New 'disgusting' Netflix series to prank job-seekers. Theresa May and David Cameron await long-needed punking

New ‘disgusting’ Netflix series to prank job-seekers. Theresa May and David Cameron await long-needed punking.

June 17, 2019

This bold new enterprise is thought to be the first in a series of the 'prank show resurgence', a genre even idiot Youtube kids have outgrown.

Justin Bieber challenges Boris Johnson to a TV debate

Justin Bieber challenges Boris Johnson to a TV debate

June 17, 2019

It’s emerged that Bieber is fascinated by politics, particularly Brexit, and wants an opportunity to take part in the process. Tony Lapdog, a member of Bieber’s PR entourage, said: “These...