And you go back to where YOU came from! Native Americans tell Trump

“And you go back to where YOU came from!” Native Americans tell Trump

July 19, 2019

Countries around the world are becoming jittery at the prospect of Mr Trump leaving the States and turning up on their borders begging for political asylum. In Germany Angela Merkel commented: “Usually I like to try to help refugees, however I think in this case it’s a ‘nein danke’ from me.”

Therexit delayed until 31st October, as PM requests one final extension

July 19, 2019

Theresa May is due to leave Number 10 next week. However, due to a lack of planning, she's requested an extension to the 31st October.

Ryanair threaten to ruin family holidays by flying every flight every day

Ryanair threaten to ruin family holidays by flying every flight every day.

July 19, 2019

Ryanair's British pilot union is to ballot members on possible industrial action. Whilst the impact of strike action is being considered, it seems the most effective way to damage Ryanair's reputation is to fly every flight, every day ensuring all customers receive the 'unique' Ryanair experience.

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And you go back to where YOU came from! Native Americans tell Trump

“And you go back to where YOU came from!” Native Americans tell Trump

July 19, 2019

Countries around the world are becoming jittery at the prospect of Mr Trump leaving the States and turning up on their borders begging for political asylum. In Germany Angela Merkel commented: “Usually I like to try to help refugees, however I think in this case it’s a ‘nein danke’ from me.”

Trump’s ICE officers face difficultly sending undocumented aliens back to Vulcan

Trump’s ICE officers face difficultly sending undocumented aliens back to Vulcan

July 18, 2019

“ICE are targeting very stern men, women and vulnerable children with unfashionable haircuts and eyebrows which naturally reach a 45 degree angle. The real problem is deporting them to their home world. They will be held in detention camps until NASA comes up with a workable, cost-effective solution. We cannot guarantee that families will not be separated during the process.”

Tory plan to use Queen to stop no-deal backfires when she turns up on a dragon

Tory plan to use Queen to stop no-deal Brexit backfires as she turns up in Brussels on a dragon

July 19, 2019

Senior Tories seeking to block a no-deal Brexit are examining a radical plan involving the Queen. However the Queen has her own plan which involves flying to Brussels on her...

Husbands getting pretty fucked off with how long Love Island is lasting

Husbands getting pretty fucked off with how long Love Island is lasting

July 18, 2019

The long-running sub-reality show has just surpassed Coronation Street for how long it feels it’s been on TV. Husband, Barry Batterhead, said, “Fuck me. I just want to get on...