Only 25% of young people could now afford deposit on a post-Brexit wasteland shack

Systematic attempts to transform UK into unlivable hellscape revealed as Tory plan to cut immigration

November 15, 2019

Number 10 insider John Timms claimed  that to deter immigration they'd worn their heart on their sleeve by electing Boris Johnson "We want moving to the UK to make as much sense as investing in a balloon animal stall managed by Edward Scissorhands."

Sachet of cocaine sues Michael Gove for breaching Non-Disclosure Agreement

Tories to offer free cocaine to every household in Britain

November 15, 2019

The Labour party rocked the General Election campaign last night by announcing it would provide all households in the UK with internet broadband without charge. This morning the Conservatives have quickly struck back by declaring its drawing up plans to give everyone free cocaine.

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US party shooting kills 9; Congress promises 'party control laws'

US party shooting kills 9; Congress promises ‘party control laws’

November 4, 2019

The US Congress has vowed to take ‘urgent action’ following a shooting at a house party in San Francisco left 9 people dead. President Trump said he intends to bring forward ‘party control laws’ to ensure there is no repeat of the tragedy.

Trick, Treat or Impeach says Nancy Pelosi - as she knocks at Trump's door

“Trick, Treat or Impeach” says Nancy Pelosi – as she knocks at Trump’s door

November 1, 2019

“The Greatest Witch Hunt in American History," tweeted President Trump, praising the new Halloween tradition.

Lib Dems launch legal action after Jo Swinson left out of ‘I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here’

I’m A Celeb stars gear up for weeks of being fed bollocks. Just like the rest of the nation.

November 14, 2019

The stars, including former footballer Ian Wright and reality TV personality Caitlyn Jenner say they’ve fully prepared themselves for a few weeks of monotony and being fed bollocks. A sentiment...

Leave voters horrified, as Ireland refuses to make any more Mrs Browns boys until their Brexit demands are met.

Leave voters horrified, as Ireland refuses to make more Mrs Browns boys until Brexit demands are met.

November 13, 2019

The Irish Government are holding the show hostage, and refusing to make any more until their Post-Brexit demands are met.

Decision on Huawei Involvement in UK 5G Delayed Until After Election So They’ll Know Who To Bribe

 Decision on Huawei running 5G in UK delayed until after election, so the Chinese know who to bribe.

November 2, 2019

An inscrutable spokesperson for the Chinese telecoms giant, Won Hung Lo, said, “We are not in the least bothered by this government’s decision to postpone. It makes sense. It hasn’t been easy dealing with the UK with all this Brexit nonsense. But we’re prepared to bide our time. Once the election is over it will be much clearer for us. We will know for certain who we have to bung."