Priti Patel keeps Coronavirus at bay by taking it’s dinner money and then giving it a wedgie
March 28, 2020Health secretary Matt Hancock has tested positive for coronavirus. However, fears that other members of the cabinet may fall victim to the pandemic have been eased by Home Secretary Priti Patel bullying the virus as she took it's dinner money, before giving it a wedgie.
Coronavirus symptoms now confirmed to manifest in Arseholes
March 28, 2020
Dominic Raab training like he’s in the Rocky montage
March 27, 2020
Dominic Cummings Self-Isolates After Developing Symptoms of Being a Cunt
March 31, 2020Medical experts confirmed Dominic Cumming, the architect of the current political catastrofuck, is in fact, self-isolating, after developing symptoms of becoming a total cunt.
Lockdown: dog tells his owner to ‘bugger off and give me some space’
March 30, 2020The UK remains in lockdown and many people haven’t left their homes for over a week. And one dog in Dorking has asked his owner to ‘bugger off and give me some space.’
Coronavirus symptoms now confirmed to manifest in Arseholes
March 28, 2020
Dominic Raab training like he’s in the Rocky montage
March 27, 2020
Dominic Cummings Self-Isolates After Developing Symptoms of Being a Cunt
March 31, 2020Medical experts confirmed Dominic Cumming, the architect of the current political catastrofuck, is in fact, self-isolating, after developing symptoms of becoming a total cunt.
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Agoraphobes holding claustrophobes to ransom with sky-high prices for their single daily dose of leaving house
March 26, 2020The Conservative government has put measures in place to restrict everyone to 'leave home once a day', for exercise, essential shopping and going to a place of work, only if vital. However, these free-market, libertarian economic principles are allowing agoraphobics to demand sky high prices from claustrophobics for their single daily occurrence of getting out the house.
Newcastle United fans astounded by Mike Ashley’s compassion and understanding
March 25, 2020Fans of Premier League club Newcastle United have said that they are ‘absolutely flabbergasted’ at the level of understanding that Mike Ashley has shown towards his employees.
Churches close as God self-isolates
March 21, 2020
“Have Money, and Don’t Be Poor” say celebs, offering isolation advice
March 25, 2020Struggling to get your head around coronavirus? Stuck in isolation? Worried about lockdown? This is your all inclusive guide to self isolation, social distancing and surviving Covid-19 from the people...
Method acting gone too far, as Casualty and Holby City come to aid of NHS
March 25, 2020It has been announced that Casualty and Holby City will donate equipment from their sets to the NHS to help out during the Coronavirus crisis. Nobody has yet questioned if...
Piers Morgan and Jacob-Rees Mogg clash in TV Twat-Off
March 20, 2020
Teachers opening last-minute ‘End Of Year’ presents to find dog biscuits and own-brand cheese sauce granules.
March 22, 2020England’s schools closed yesterday after directives from the government to protect from the coronavirus. Teachers were presented with last-minute gifts; in many cases, the only things parents could get hold of in stores with completely empty shelves
Covid-19 emails the new GDPR emails
March 19, 2020
Coronavirus destroyed after Donald Trump breathes on it
February 28, 2020
