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Donald Tusk rejects Boris Johnson request to remove Butt Plug

Donald Tusk rejects Boris Johnson request to remove Butt Plug

August 20, 2019

The EU Butt plug, known as the backstop, was manufactured in a North Korean lab and has been inside Johnson's anal cavity for the last three years. It was fitted covertly while Johnson was in a diabetic coma, after eating one of Nadia Hussain's golden syrup desserts at an EU summit. The plug was supposed to send Pro EU instructions to Johnson's brain but it seems to have malfunctioned.

Trump looking to buy Greenland for it's Money-Trees

Trump looking to buy Greenland for it’s Money-Trees

August 17, 2019

Greenland has said it is 'not for sale' after President Trump stated that he would like the US to buy the world's biggest island.

BBC warns Gary Lineker - 'No more shit Jokes'

BBC warns Gary Lineker – ‘No more shit Jokes’

August 21, 2019

Lineker, who has a team of six joke writers was furious,' These fuckers are costing me 300k per year and their material is useless.' When it was pointed out to...

Rees-Mogg to draw on own experiences as massive twat of a 1920s politician to consult on new series of Peaky Blinders

Rees-Mogg asked to consult on new series of Peaky Blinders – thanks to his experience being a twat of a politician also set in the 1920s

August 21, 2019

The fifth season of Peaky Blinders will hit UK screens this Sunday, and will feature a dramatic shake up, as character Tommy Shelby finds himself a part of 1920s parliament.