Britain First to patrol British beaches with Dettol to stop foreign Coronavirus invading the country.
January 25, 2020Health Secretary Matt Hancock has said that the risk of the Chinese Coronavirus entering the UK 'remains low'. Fascist political organisation Britain First have ignored these reports, and said they are not taking any chances with a 'foreign' virus entering the country. Members of the party have been patrolling the coastlines of the country, armed with dettol wipes, spray bottles of cif, and water pistols full of Cillit bang.
Boris revealed as unlikely champion of the super-rich in plan to shaft poorest councils out of £300 million
January 27, 2020A reallocation of council funding could redirect hundreds of millions of pounds from so-called left-behind communities in the north of England to the leafy southern shires
Sir David Attenborough says Parliament is ‘basically usesless’
January 27, 2020Sir David Attenborough has said Parliament is ‘basically useless’. He told the first Citizens’ Assembly that having a five-year fixed parliament is not good for long term planning to save the planet.
Queen gives Prince William new title of ‘Favourite Grandson’
January 27, 2020
Chancellor unveils commemorative Brexit font for 50p bank transfers
January 27, 2020
Devious EU bastards sign Brexit agreement “Mickey la Souris”
January 25, 2020
Queen misses annual WI meeting as she ‘can’t be arsed’
January 24, 2020
Boris revealed as unlikely champion of the super-rich in plan to shaft poorest councils out of £300 million
January 27, 2020A reallocation of council funding could redirect hundreds of millions of pounds from so-called left-behind communities in the north of England to the leafy southern shires
Sir David Attenborough says Parliament is ‘basically usesless’
January 27, 2020
Chancellor unveils commemorative Brexit font for 50p bank transfers
January 27, 2020
Devious EU bastards sign Brexit agreement “Mickey la Souris”
January 25, 2020
UK to ask Queen if it can ‘step back from EU duties’
January 23, 2020Watch the latest Episode!
Everyone stands down after compulsive bullshitter Matt Hancock says there’s ‘increased likelihood’ the coronavirus will get to UK
January 25, 2020Health Secretary Matt Hancock says there is an ‘increased likelihood’ of the virus reaching the UK. Everyone who’s been worried about the coronavirus is much more relaxed after the idiot’s idiot made the comment, as he’s never said anything correct in his life.
Trump rolls back water pollution controls after accidentally shitting in a river
January 24, 2020The Trump administration is set to scrap pollution protections for America's streams and wetlands, after the president accidentally shat in a river.
US Space Force parades in Virginia
January 22, 2020
Entire US government resigns as Vladimir Putin plans future
January 17, 2020
Tennis players in Australian Open to be issued with gas masks
January 15, 2020
Chancellor unveils commemorative Brexit font for 50p bank transfers
January 27, 2020
Disaster in Slough as residents realise they live in Slough
January 15, 2020
Brad and Jen reunion first sign Remainers time machine is working
January 22, 2020Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston were briefly reunited at the SAG awards this week. This caused celebrations among older millennials who stopped believing in love and happiness after the couple...
Unemployment figures rise again as London Firm announce two more job losses.
January 20, 2020No worries though for Diamond Geezer Harry Boy he’s already pimp..er touting his wife to Disney for voice overs of reboots of The Non-Aristocats..The Prince and The Pauper, plus the one all...
Channel 4’s ‘Countdown’ Clock To be Used To mark Brexit
January 18, 2020
Ageing White Men agree that Ageing White Men make the best films
January 15, 2020
ITV commission new ‘Love Island’ spin off, ‘Celebrity Skull Island’.
January 13, 2020
US Space Force parades in Virginia
January 22, 2020Thousands of camouflaged gun owners have gathered in Richmond, Virginia in a show of armed strength. The heavily-armed, camo-clad members of gun-rights and militia groups have been federalised by President Trump to form earth's first non-terrestrial terrestrial military unit: Space Force.
Greta Thunberg changes Twitter name to “FactCheckUK”
January 4, 2020
Polar Bear Spotted With “Get Brexit Done” sprayed on its side
December 4, 2019
Queen gives Prince William new title of ‘Favourite Grandson’
January 27, 2020
Queen misses annual WI meeting as she ‘can’t be arsed’
January 24, 2020
Mail on Sunday forks out £500,000 for Big Ben Megxit Celebration
January 21, 2020
Tennis players in Australian Open to be issued with gas masks
January 15, 2020
VAR explained: Heads it’s a penalty, tails it’s not
November 12, 2019
